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Posts Tagged ‘kanye west’

Like many of us, I sometimes take a random, and probably completely unfair, dislike to various celebrities. And then sometimes, I go the other way. Yes, perhaps because I would simply rather like people than hate them, I often find myself suddenly liking celebrities whom I previously regarded with either boredom or disdain. Which is why I could totally identify with Jessica of Go Fug Yourself in this recent post, where she said

I am SO EASILY talked into liking celebrities that I hitherto disliked. Seriously. I almost ALWAYS come around. I’m pretty sure this means I am super susceptible to Stockholm Syndrome, like if I were kidnapped by Colombian drug lords, I’d come back from my ordeal and be all, “You guys, I kind of miss Pablo.”

Sadly, I suspect I am the same.

Oh Kanye, you're so ridiculous.

Not only was I too strangely charmed by those images of the Hoff and his tribe, but over the years I have found myself developing a sort of affection for other stars I have previously just mocked or loathed, including Kanye West, Lady Gaga and Eva Mendes. And it doesn’t take much to win me over. I realised I kind of loved Kanye when he retweeted Aziz Ansari’s tweets parodying West’s OTT persona; I developed an affection for Gaga when she started talking about her newly awakened feminism (one of the reasons I’d previously found her annoying was an earlier interview in which she said she wasn’t a feminist because she didn’t hate men), and I realised I thought Mendes was basically a good egg this week, when she decided to give the frenzied Googling pervs want they want by releasing a very special sort of sex tape. But sometimes it’s not as concrete as that. Sometimes I just start thinking that someone is, as my younger sister (who is as easily charmed as I) and I used to say, “strangely likeable”. And sometimes I think it really is Stockholm Syndrome-esque.  In the early ’90s, my youngest sister was obsessed with Take That. I was a loathsome cooler-than-thou teenage indie snob, so of course I hated the That and all their works. And yet, somehow, after a solid year of seeing her Take That: The Party, Live At Wembley video on the telly almost every time I came into the sitting room, I was slowly but surely won over by their cheeky northern charm. To the extent that, when I reviewed their spectacular Circus tour in Croke Park last year, I was the only person in the row of sullen critics cheering like mad and indeed dancing along with my best mate (who had also witnessed the That’s hypnotic powers back when we were teens) to ‘Could It Be Magic’.

But generally a celebrity will win me over if they give a hint that they have a sense of humour, if they can take the piss out of both themselves and their detractors in a sharp and/or good humoured way, and if they can talk vaguely sensibly about feminism (seriously, once I find out any celeb calls themselves a feminist, I pretty much always like them a little bit more, even if, as in the case of Bill Bailey, I love them already).  So what previously loathed celebs have you developed a strange affection for? And what does it take to win you over?

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Dear reader, I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I was to read that Kanye West is on for starring in a porno. Not that I’m a huge fan of Kanye per se (too sulky for my personal taste, and that’s before we mention the Brazil-sized ego). I’m more impressed with the type of skin flick that Kanye would like to make. We’re not just talking any old run-of-the-mill, 22-positions-with-some-pneumatic-bint malarkey either. Rather, he has admitted that he wouldn’t be averse to the idea of doing a bisexual flick with a man and a woman.  Now, threesomes are as old as time itself (probably), but the idea of a threesome with two men who wouldn’t mind socking it to each other is a concept that completely cranks my chain. None of your fake-shock-macho-bullshit-when-swords-get-accidentally-crossed rubbish for me, nosiree bob. Truth be told, this has been one of my longest standing fantasies – a threesome situation where everyone is…you know, giving and getting to beat the band.

 

Barely able to contain my excitement and/or raging libido, I made the mistake of saying all this out loud at my place of work. A pack of rabid, farting dogs would have gotten a warmer reception. ‘Ewwwwww,’ said one colleague, looking me up and down for any other outward signs of perversion or freakery. I should also point out that my workplace would be considered fairly progressive and dynamic…it’s certainly no convent. But seriously; is my sexual fantasy du choix – and the public airing thereof – really something that should have gone past the censors?

 

Anyway, the whole episode got me to thinking about my long-standing, semi-professional career as a masturbator (what’s the female equivalent of wanking…is is ‘fanking’? Or ‘womanking’? Anyrooooad). As mentioned in a previous post, this is something I have been doing since I was about 5 or 6. Obviously back then, I had no idea that it was something sexual or could be perceived as ‘dirty’ by anyone. All I knew is that it made me feel good. Again, this may be a case of The Sex Freak Overshareth, but thankfully I know I’m not alone here…another friend of mine had been doing the same since she was very young too. I may as well offer up the following disclaimer: I don’t mention this in a bid to open up a whole can of worms about paedophilia/children as sexual beings. I’m merely talking about my own personal experience here.

 

A few years later, things cranked up a notch when I found my first Playboy magazine, stashed away in my dad’s bedroom locker. I should state for the record that I am probably about 98% heterosexual (right now), but anyway, the Playboy magazine breathed fresh impetus into my ‘little activity’. I wasn’t that attracted to the women in hindsight, but the pictures did provide a handy springboard from which I could concoct my own fantasy scenarios, often including a sleazy photographer and a milk-fed, virginal model desperate to get ahead. Yes, I was a would-be Seymour Butts even back then, so help us all.

 

In the decades since, my tastes for porn have become more refined and the Internet has proved to be manna from heaven for anyone partial to a fiddle. Truth be told, I am faddy to the point of fickleness when it comes to porn. One week I can’t get enough of gang bangs; the next I am practically gasping for grainy, grimy amateur stuff. I also had a prolonged period of watching nothing but gay porn (though, curiously enough, have never really gotten ‘into’ lesbian porn. Too much boobage and not enough willy in any one frame). I also found perverse pleasure in watching the Gene Simmons sex tape, something I’m still scratching my…er, head over (c’mon, it’s Gene Simmons. You still would). Round about now though, I’m hankering after vanilla flavoured, Joy Of Sex, one-guy-one-girl porn. Sometimes it’s nice to get back to one’s roots.

 

So how about you lot…anyone brave enough to fess up to their own pornographic proclivities or fantasies? More importantly, one question is looming large in my mind. Given my early start was I – as I’ve always suspected – truly the naughtiest girl in my primary school?

 

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