Rosie & Sinead, it may be an American thing.
Saying girlfriends is pretty common, although it’s probably not an ideal way to refer to the women you hang out with.
Sinead, I believe Megan Fox takes a similar line when she said during interviews that women are competitive and out to get her, that she’s a “guy’s girl.” “Guy’s girl” means she gets token status in exchange for not calling guys out on their gender privilege and sexist commentary.
Women who don’t like other women much are usually the type that didn’t get enough attention from Daddy…not particulalry confident and loaded down with latent jealousy. I’ve had a few of these friends…they scare me!
Nuala, one of the first thing girls learn is they should be wary of and mistrust other girls. Some of us work to get beyond the repulsion culture reserves for girls and women and some don’t. Saying you detest girls is the quickest route to popularity, as every lap cat of patriarchy has found.
June, yes, or it could be that only daddy’s attention mattered to them. Male approval has as much clout as currency. Just think how radical it is to hear a woman in Hollywood say that she values her friendships with women more than her boyfriend. Le sigh.
While I don’t have a large group of female friends, I have a couple of close female friends whom I treasure deeply. Sadly, some women seem to think that female friendship is based on competition and conflict, and I also recognise that I have been socialised into this way of understanding female friendship but I am actively trying to step outside of this frame of mind.
‘Guy’s girls’ really bug me, and as I play sports and participate in traditional male activities, I end up hearing many tomboys lashing out at other women about being weak or girly. They normally follow this up with some commentary about how they’re so lucky to have bypassed or negated all stereotypical female behaviours and now behave in a ‘rational manner’.
Living with four women ( ages ranging from seventeen months to slightly more than seventeen months ) has helped me to gain a unique insight into the female psyche. And on this journey of discovery I have discovered a great many things about what makes women tick:
1. I know less now than I did at the beginning.
2. If in doubt, ref: Harry met Sally.
3. If really in doubt, ref: Amélie.
4. If a man goes shopping with a woman and tells her that he’s enjoying the experience, chances are .. no, the certainty is that he’s lying, probably time to call it quits.
5. Love? It just is.
6. I will know even less tomorrow than I did today; but sure, you’ve got to keep trying ( ref: no 5 ).
Word. Megan, you are dead right about this – ““Guy’s girl” means she gets token status in exchange for not calling guys out on their gender privilege and sexist commentary.” There’s also the toxic “girls are so bitchy! men are straightforward!” meme used to justify being a “mens’ girl”. When women say that, I wonder whether they’ve even talked to a woman since senior infants, for my experience of hardcore girl bullying stopped around then.
But then, I’m a big lez, so obv. I’m a girl’s girl…
Dawn, it’s a tough process to resist the misogyny. Once you recognise that it’s the backbone of culture, it gets easier. Consider yourself brave for not participating in the woman hating.
Edel, Mendes is getting lots of criticism online for another quote from the interview where she talked about how when some women do a nude scene they’re called ‘brave’ but she never is and how unfair that is. What she’s really pointing out is that since she’s textbook ‘hot’ it’s expected for her to strip down for the camera as opposed to other women who come with a serious actor credential such as Kate Winslet. Mendes gets pigeonholed as cheesecake roles. SHe has a vaild point even if she didn’t articulate it well.
Hey Kieron, take a bow for cramming a collection of lazy stereotypes in your comment. You da man.
Let us know when you have those crazy bitches figured out.
Helen, being “one of the guys” is a vocation for many women and the media frequently uses this to say “ah, she’s not so bad; she’s one of the good ones.” Details did this not long ago with a piece on January Jones, as in: she drinks beer and watches football and burps! And she’s hot!”
Being one of the guys may open doors or help women get ahead but you don’t have an ethical leg to stand on. The ‘exception’ card must be a hollow one to play.
Great point about them not knowing other women. It’s easy to disparage/denounce a group when you don’t know them. You don’t have to see them as human beings.
Wow. Eva Mendes in saying-something-true shocker. I took a bit of a dislike to her after an interview in Glamour during which she seemed to spend the whole conversation attempting to prove that, even though she’s REALLY GOOD-LOOKING, she’s cool too. We get it, Eva, you’re REALLY GOOD-LOOKING.
But agreed, anyway; guys’ girls terrify me, almost as much as girls’ girls do. Can’t we all just be people people?
What kind of crazy talk is that, Rosemary?
As I said in an earlier comment, I think Mendes is bugged by how she gets minimised and underestimated because she’s pretty because she doesn’t get to do more than play arm candy, the girlfriend role. She has no political framework to describe her dismay with patriarchy so instead she just pisses women off by complaining how hard it is to be beautiful.
I’m sorry, am I Reading the same post from Kieron as you are?! He comes across as quite humble to me. “I know less now than I did at the beginning.” You can’t castigate someone for siding with Socrates, surely?
Thanks for posting the quote, though. It’s thought provoking. I have known a couple of women who I would have been friends with but who escewed female frienships in favour of male ones. Despite our common interests a friendship just couldn’t get off the ground. My female friends most definitely help me hold it together. Massive support from them but I don’t understand how those supportive female friendships don’t tend to pass into the professional arena, the way male friendships do. Any insights on that?
Amanda, it’s not humble to live in a house full of women and then claim they are these inscrutable aliens he fails to fathom.
It’s male privilege to cry that women are these great mysteries that the poor fella can’t understand.
It’s lazy-minded Mars and Venus mythology.
WHMS is an awful film which maligns women as needy, shallow, picky, manipulative loons.
I’ve heard this crap a million times.
If I’ve insulted you it was obviously a typo, because try as I might, I can’t see a thing. And as for my reference to living with aliens? Nope, I’ve looked and I’ve looked and I’ve looked, but nowhere do I see any references to UFO’s, although if I am living with aliens, they probably did mad experiments on me which caused my memory to go AWOL. Still, never mind. But if at some future point in a distant universe our paths should cross courtesy of Cupids Arrow, I’ll let you choose the DVD’s for Saturday Night – Sleepless in Seattle?