Archive for February 5th, 2009

allaboutmelargeRespect where it’s due – my fellow Anti-Roomers are delightfully adept at keeping abreast of pop culture this and zeitgeist that. TV, music, film, fem-trends, they’ve got it all licked…and fair play to them. So I thought I’d leave them to it and post about my own specialist subject – ME.

I know – egomaniacal bint.

Anyway, there’s a 25 Things You Don’t Know About Me yoke floating around Facebook, and it seems like a fun way to kill a bit of time ahead of the 3pm slump at work.

Without further ado:

1. I was born right on O’Connell Bridge in Dublin. The ambulance was stuck in traffic because they were putting up traffic lights there that day. True story. Luke Kelly is also responsible for giving me my name, as he was in the pub when my father was despatched to think up a suitable moniker for me. Another true story.

2. I’ve always been a giver – one Mother’s Day, when I was around 7, I decided to outdo myself and brought my mother breakfast in bed. Out went the tea and toast; in its place went a whole pint glass of neat Vodka. Complete with a little cocktail umbrella and sugared rim.

3. I absolutely fucking adore the TV show Gladiators. I know, I know.

4. I have a third nipple. At least I hope it’s a third nipple.

5. Every single night without fail, I need to wake and get up for a pee break. It drives me absolutely barmy, but such is life.

6. I make a bad first impression on pretty much everyone. I have a fairly loud, bounce-off-the-walls personality that a lot of people find annoying as hell. I’ve lost track of how many times people have said to me ‘I thought you were a head-wreck when I met you, but now I think you’re really lovely’. Shallow shits.

7. Everyone also thinks I’m the type of person who wears matching lingerie, and they get very confused when I tell them I’m strictly a multi-pack from Dunnes kinda girl.

8. I have an irrational fear of tampons.

9. I’ve been in love about 4 times. My verdict? Meh.

10. In saying that, I lurch from ill-fated crush to another with the stealth of an Olympian athlete. Quelle headfuck. I may even be bordering on erotomania.

11. I have a job that a lot of people would kill for. Right now, I absolutely hate it and am searching for a way out.

12. I talk like a complete dirty hoor, but have only slept with 17 people. People are always completely shocked that it’s not more. I’m all fart and no shite, me.

13. I’m a very anxious traveller, and get extremely, irrationally nervous ahead of any trip. I like to think of myself of an adventurous spirit, and I’d so love to see more of the world. But I’m the polar opposite of an intrepid traveller, and worry about not making it back home.

14. Another paradox – I can be as tight-arsed as they come, but I let money flow through my fingers. Woe betide the houseguest that leaves lights on after a visit to the jacks…but I take more taxis than anyone I know.

15. Creativity frightens the life out of me; specifically, the whole idea of me trying to be creative. I’m attempting to embark on a sort-of creative endeavour at the moment, and I’m living in constant fear. Of not being good. And of being good.

16. This may set me apart as a bit of an anomaly, but I hate getting oral sex. Shudder.

17. You couldn’t pay me to wear flats in public. Recently, I did a hike in 5-inch heels. Because of this, most people think I’m much taller than I am.

18. I’m one of these people who is on a bit of a three-second delay. I’m not especially quick, it must be said. I take ages to get jokes and quips and suchlike, but I’m cool with that.

19. I pride myself on being a good friend. Sometimes people in my life misinterpret this, and think I’m more needy of their friendship than I actually am. I’m fairly self-contained, but I like to be a mate folk can rely on.

20. Likewise, I’m pretty easygoing and chilled, and people mistake this for weakness of character. I just like a quiet life, people!

21. As if further proof was needed that I am a gay man trapped in a woman’s body, my childhood crushes were Michael Stipe and Morrissey. And I’d probably still give them a rattle.

22. I used to fantasise about being adopted, but I am such a perfect combination of my parents that there’s no way I belong to the milkman. I’m mercurial, positive and hard-working like my dad. I repeat myself a lot and hog the conversation, like my mum.

23. At the moment, I have a lot of dreams that want fulfulling. Chief of which is to move to Australia. And marry Chris Lilley. See? Erotomania.

24. My favourite possession in the world is a little diary my mother wrote the year after I was born. She wrote it as though I were the one making the entries, as in ‘Today I went for my first check-up and gurgled at the nurse’. Fairly banal stuff, but if anything ever happened to it I would die of heartbreak.

25. I’m already convinced I’m going to die in a car accident. I’ve already been hit by a car (about 9 years ago), but I keep having flashes of shooting through a windscreen from inside a car. Who knows…maybe I already have in a past life.

Right, over to you lot. If you find yourself with a spare 10 minutes, give it a whirl and stick your results up here. Because the 26th thing you need to know about me is that I’m nosy as all hell.

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