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Archive for August 19th, 2008

Crushes of Shame

We’ve talked about hot girl crushes, we’ve talked about role-dependent crushes, but now it’s time to talk about the crushes that dare not speak their name.

She liked him - not a lot, but....

She liked him - not a lot, but....

Yes, the crush you know is wrong, wrong, wrong (or, to put it more accurately, embarrassing) but can’t help it. The men or women you know aren’t really attractive but do something to you anyway. I can’t beat a friend of mine who had a childhood crush on none other than Paul Daniels (a fact which makes me laugh whenever I remember it), but I must confess that I have been known to find Gordon Brown slightly attractive. I know, I know! I think it’s something about his rugged Scottishness. Not that that’s an excuse. It could be worse, though – I could find myself attracted to David Cameron and his horrible shiny Tory visage. Or indeed Paul Daniels.

So what about you, readers? It’s confession time!

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In today’s Guardian there is an In Defense of Madonna-style article by Aida Edemariam (oh to have a name like that) giving out about the fact that people like Camille Paglia, Germaine Greer and Julie Burchill have all turned on the 50-year-old pop star.

Why is Madonna causing such disapproval amongst her purportedly feminist sistas? Aida sees it as the fact that Madonna has stopped being in agreement with their mores and thus is bad, wrong, crap, whatever. What is more surprising is that the criticisms (as Aida presents them; I haven’t seen the original articles) seem to be based on those old chestnuts age and looks. Germaine calls Madonna an ‘elderly mother’, Camille calls her face ‘a resculpted plastic doll’ and gives out about the ‘brassy’ cover image of Hard Candy (please, is ‘brassy’ even something you can criticise a woman for being anymore?). Then Burchill, who has nightmares about Madonna’s ‘greasy muff’, gets on about Madonna’s ‘vile veiny hands and stringy neck’. Jeeaysis. We’ve talked before about bitchiness between women and girl-on-girl hate  here and these comments, as presented, seem like good examples of this.

It seems like none of these women has anything to criticise Madonna about apart from the fact that, like us all, she is getting older, and like most of us, she is concerned with preserving her looks. So what? Is it just me, or do these seem like cheap shots?

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