We’ve talked about hot girl crushes, we’ve talked about role-dependent crushes, but now it’s time to talk about the crushes that dare not speak their name.
She liked him - not a lot, but....
So what about you, readers? It’s confession time!
Crushes of Shame
August 19, 2008 by Penny Century
39 Responses
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Paul Daniels??? Mother of Christ. I sorta get the Gordon Brown thing. I’d do Boris Johnson sooner, mind.
OK mine – Ronnie Wood, Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan, Max Clifford, Gordon Ramsay and all the formerly hot wrinklies like De Niro, Newman and Pacino.
And the crush that has stood the test of time – Brian Robson. He got better with age, in fact.
I fear this could be terminally embarrassing, but here goes! In no particular order – Andrew Marr, Jeremy Clarkson, Trevor McDonald and Paul Rankin.
Paul Rankin? Eew. So conceited!
Mine include:
Paul Merton. Though I think it’s his wit I’m after.
James Cromwell. ‘That’ll do pig.’ Aw.
OK, these don’t really work because I’m not one bit ashamed of these crushes. They maybe just don’t fit stereotypical boy-crushes?
Oh, I have a good one: An Taoiseach, Brian Cowen. But it’s more of a fondness for his pragmatic style, I have to admit, rather than lust.
*salivates at the mere mention of Clarkson*
oh, and Nick Frost. yum.
Oh I have many, including that chubby dude from Peep Show with the side parting.
Also Vic Reeves, Suggs from Madness (major shame), I second Gordon Ramsey. And in the spirit of men with big, er, brains, I have it bad for Jeremy Clarkson.
Leigh – De Niro, Newman and Pacino were all HOT in their prime so no shame there.
Clarkson = can’t get past the fact that he’s a right wing git
who supports fox-hunting and Ronnie Wood always looks to me like he’s been freshly dug up.
On older footballers, every time I see Graham Souness on RTE I think “hubba”.
WRW – oh I know Rankin’s obnoxious, as is Clarkson really, but I can’t help it.
Ruby – am with you on the David Mitchell (Peep Show) thing. I fear comedian crushes almost warrants a separate category for me, though!
Oh man, comedian crushes are a whole other ball game. There’s not many I wouldn’t happily go for! Totally with you all on Clarkson, Ronnie and Nick Frost, I totally would. Also Alan Davies, Richard Hammond (he really is too tiny but eh), Kevin Spacey (kinda weird hot), Ray Winstone (sometimes) and I’m actually not ashamed of this one but my God, I’d marry Alan Rickman in the morning.
who wouldn’t, Kitty? Rickman’s hot.
anyone got a crush of shame that they acted on?
Oh how weird! I was asked this very question recently, and sadly it was in print for all to see, so my shame was 100% public.
Believe it or not, I said David Mitchell, and I agree, comedy men are a seperate breed. Heck even Peter Kay can look ok in a certain light.
I also said David Thewlis (especially playing that bastard in Mike Leigh’s Naked) and Nick Cave (even with the porn tache).
Also when I saw Magnolia first, it was Philip Seymour Hoffman. Also David Duchovny (back in X-Files days).
On the brainy men, I see your Jeremy Paxman, and raise you one Jon Snow. Also am fullly supportive of Alan Rickman crushes.
is it still embarrassing to find richard hammond attractive??
ronnie wood although his antics of late have been a let down! jeremy irons (not in the mission i draw the line at the monk hair cut)
Micheal Palin i LOVE him i think this might be the comedy thing too.
totally get the david mitchell thing but i don’t think i would. i’d imagine he’d say thanks after and leave on his socks!
Oh dear.
When I was five I decided that I was going to marry Astroboy. The fact that he was andogynous, a robot, and fictional did not deter me one iota.
Then I moved on to Alan Alda. Now it’s Robert Redford, David Mitchell, and I am only slightly getting over my Paxman thing. It’s the way he says ‘Come on!’ in University Challenge, you see. Dead sexy.
Cripes! I meant Jeremy Paxman above, not Clarkson! The horror, the horror, he gives me the creeps. And he just has a big head, not a big brain.
Paxman is a sex God, no doubt.
Eric Idle!
Yes! I knew I had the hots for someone kind of unbeautiful. Again, though, it may be a funny-man thing. Or that dream I had about him once where we…well, I won’t bore you.
That Paul Daniels crush made me laugh out loud. I also like your ‘my friend fancied Paul Daniels’ ploy Penny, very cunning.
Still, having said that, you managed to find probably the best-looking picture of him. Debbie McGee obviously found him attractive. He was probably a TIGER in the sack. Oo-er, mental…images…WAAaargh!!!!!!
Gordon Ramsay helms the list of my guilty crushes.
Must be the shoulders and the facial scarring.
Also, Bruce Willis is a conservative pig but still makes my eyebrows elevate.
Yup the Paul Daniels thing made me roar laughing. Though I have my fair share of cringe-crushes, Paul Daniels is not one.
Neither do I really get the Paul Rankin one…for some strange reason he always reminds me of a giant, red, pulsing penis. And not in an attractive way…I think it may be his Boltonesque ginger locks and the way he cuts across Jeanie and orders her to chop the carrots, finely.
Richard Hammond is small but hot, end of. The accent is sweet too.
Have a soft spot for Liam Brady. Probably accent again I fear.
Also young boy from High School Musical and Hairspray. He might not be legal, but boy can he sing.
Ooh, and Aramis from Dogtanion. The poet German-shepherd Muskahound. Foxy.
My guilty crushes are on the former Clare hurling captain and current TV pundit Anthony Daly. Phoar. I’d watch his GAA analysis all day.
And Edward James Olmos. I know his face has more craters than the moon. But damn damn damn. HAWT.
The Paul Daniels crush is the grossest thing I have ever read on a blog. I spent all day yesterday projectile vomiting.
Come on Q! Don’t you think Paul looks kind of attractive in the picture above? In a kind of freaky backwards-speaking man from Twin Peaks sort of way…?
is it embarrassing to find gordon hot? he can swear at me anytime!!
Wow Bob Wow. I would so make out with Michael J Anderson any day over Paul Daniels.
First of all, let me reiterate the fact that the friend who loved Paul D seriously isn’t me! I find her infant adoration of him as hilarious/terrifying as the rest of you! Well, the rest of you apart from Honoria, who I suspect, on the basis of the comment above, is also holding a torch for the wee magician…
I share the love of Michael Palin (I find him genuinely attractive in The Holy Grail – I think it’s the shaggy hair. Hopefully not the chain mail) and Jeremy Paxo is definitely hot, in a bossy sort of way. I think the latter is definitely a case of someone’s sheer charisma overcoming their physical appearance, because jaysus, he looks like one of those Easter Island heads.
Ruby, are you sure that wasn’t a Freudian slip? I think you secretly have a bit of a thing for Clarkson! Mind you, I feel shameful enough for finding Clarkson funny sometimes – if I discovered I fancied him I don’t know what I’d do.
Sarah, I too found Aramis strangely attractive as a child! I used to draw pictures of him! Surely there’s something very wrong about fancying a cartoon poet dog (even if you were only 10 at the time). ..
I adored the muskahounds too – I think it’s totally normal to fancy a cartoon poet dog as a kid, in the same way it’s normal to fancy boybands. They’re both non-intimidating to young girls with their boyish/puppyish(?) looks and covert sexuality.
Damn right Honoria, it ain’t called puppylove for nothing…and he was an artist too…points for emotional retardation!
Forget Clarkson and Hammond, I love James May unashamedly and wholeheartedly.
Penny – no way! Boo to Clarkson. Helloooo to Paxman.
Krista! Captain Slow is my favourite. I bet he would be a very attentive lover too.
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Oh dear.I can’t believe I’m actually admitting to this:
Mick Jagger.I know.I know.
Mmmmmmmmmmichael Palin:)
James Spader. Sexy and creepy in equal measure
And the best for last….
Eamonn Dunphy.I can’t help it-it started when I was in secondary school years ago,to make study a bit easy I used to sneak a walkman in.I started listening to his show on (at the time Radio Ireland) Today Fm and it’s not so much his looks.He’s arrogant and ever so slightly over opinionated=Haawt!
Greenofeye, your Jagger confession has reminded me of another friend of mine, who confessed in college that she fancied Steve Tyler. The rest of us just stared at her in horror until someone said “but C….all those horrible chiffon scarves!” As if that was the worse thing about him! That said, I kind of knew what she meant. The thought of him poncing about in those ridiculous outfits….urgh.
Dunphy, I can actually get, it’s the wit and the arrogance. I’m a sucker for both in a man.
Jagger? Yikes! Although Stephen Tyler looks like he gives great head so that might be expain his appeal.
Ah Ruby i don’t feel so odd now!
The Jagger thing goes back many years. Dunno,i got obsessed with the stones at the age of 14 and fixated on Jagger.He just looked filthy
It kinda carried through to present day!
Oh my, I thought I was the only one who was weirdly attracted to David Mitchell! Nice to know there are others out there
Would also include Clint Eastwood. He’s really a bit too wrinkly now but wind back the clock even a couple of years and there is just something about that guy…
And, when I was about 4, I was convinced that I was going to marry Kermit the Frog. Forget the sock-puppet factor, he was my secret crush. That Miss Piggy was sooooooo mean to him – I’d treat him so much better.
To go sci-fi geeky, I also quite like Alan Tudyk from Firefly/Serenity – the ginger fella.
But Paul Daniels is wrong on so very many levels…
Jen, feel no shame about David Mitchell. He does have those shark eyes, but he’s oh so sweet and so funny…
As for Clint, he was gorgeous in Play Misty For Me and some of those Westerns.
Wow Bob wow! I nearly scuttered myself when I read that; it brings back lots of Twin Peaksy memories.
The Paul Daniels thing is horrific. I can’t believe it. Except I do.
Ahem, my friend (really) …oh, actually it’s probably mean to reveal this…oh, what the hell…she fancies… Eddie Hobbs!
Eddie of the ironed hair and priestly clothing. I was stunned when she told me. Stunned and sad.
Hehe, Eddie Hobbs, heehee. More terrible images in my brain. wAAAAArrrrrrgh.
I think Eddie Hobbs might be the winner in the shameful crush sweepstakes – beating even Paul Daniels….
Oh god Eddie Hobbs. No no no. Can you imagine his dirty talk?
“There is substantial evidence to indicate a trend towards my arousal over the last ten minutes”
*shudder*
Catherine, I wish I could give you bonus points or something. I’ve literally been laughing at that ‘dirty talk’ for the last ten minutes.